learning curve

I've learnt so much recently. And that's not just because I'm at uni! It might be due to writing a reflective essay, but I'm sure it's probably more than that...

I've realised that no matter what happens God is my stronghold. I can question as much as I like but I still know that whatever I do, think, say - God loves me. He can forgive me. Jesus died for me! I've known this grace for a while, but to actually feel it, to have it at the core of me is quite liberating! To know that as much as I stuff up it doesn't matter, God is constant, God is unwavering on how he feels about me. It doesn't matter how often I pray, how often I read my bible, how many times I miss the mark - God does not change.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do" Ephesians 2:8-10

And if this is the case I should be worshipping my Saviour! As I'm writing this "Praise You" by Fat Boy Slim has come on my Media Player - how appropriate!

"We've come a long long way together,
Through the hard times and the good,
I have have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should"

Fitting really!

disappointment

I hate being disappointed. It sucks! I hate being let down by people. I know sometimes it happens for many very important reasons but if I'm caught off guard then I can be quite crushed. Not something I'm proud of I must admit.

I had a weekend of disappointments, but I'm glad I have wonderful friends to talk and pray with to let me see that's all it was - a weekend of disappointments and being let down and it's not the beginning of the slippery slope.

Like the Arctic Monkeys said:

"Anticipation has a habit to set you up
For disappointment in evening entertainment but
Tonight there'll be some love
Tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah
Regardless of what's gone before"

Tonight there'll be some love, regardless of what's gone before. That's grace, God loves me whatever, even if it may seem like no one else does (and I also know that this isn't true - Thanks Liz!)