feeling it

I'm not feeling that close to God at the moment. As I sit here in the flat He has blessed me with, looking at the view that He wanted me to see every day, watching the birds soar around in the wind while I'm tucked all cosy with my included heating on I cannot help but to feel grateful for the blessings He has given me. The fact that He has given me so much, physically, financially, relationally and yet how can I still feel so far away. I listen to my worship albums (still loving Newday 09) and sing in the band at church and while I'm doing that I mean it. I mean it. It's when I step out of that bubble and into everyday life I seem to lose perspective of my Father.

I have thought about going the other way and leaving it all behind but that would just be silly! I can't imagine my life without God being in control, or when I let Him... Turning my back on Him would be the biggest mistake of my life.

So I'm going to push on. I actually opened my bible this afternoon and read Psalm 40. God must have guided my flicking through as it really spoke to me where I'm at right now. I love it when He does that.

Now I need the motivation to continue... we'll see how this week goes. I hope I can push on.

sticking around

Katie's staying! Woohoo! Big decision to make but I'm very happy she's staying here in Norwich! :-) we can go see Chase & Status in a couple of weeks now. Braap.

Got me thinking though. I'm sticking here. God's put me here on this estate doing this mega challenging course/job and it's so not easy. Sometimes I wanna crawl and hide but I also know that I'm here for a reason. I'm joining one of the small groups that meets on the estate and although it will mean meeting up and building relationships with people who aren't necessarily similar to me or friends (yet) it will be good to be a proper part of this community. Exciting times.

Other things here haven't been easy of late. Issues with a neighbour and not getting on brilliantly with my housemate aren't making living here a piece of cake but God's blessed me with some fantastic friends living round the corner who are supporting me fantastically.

I'm just trusting Him with the direction He wants my life to take, today, tomorrow and in the future...

Currently loving this song, My Soul is Well by Simon Brading and Jordan Dillon from the new Newday album

There’s no lack in all You’ve given
I am richer than a king
In the gift of Christ our portion
My soul is well
There’s no promise I am missing
All I need has been supplied
You’re the strong and firm foundation
My soul is well
My soul is well

Praise the Lord oh my soul cry out
Praise the Lord oh my soul
Praise the Lord oh my soul cry out
For in You my soul is well

Though the struggles have been many
And the flesh inside me weak
Lord, Your grace and truth have taught me
My soul is well
Though I’ve wandered in confusion
I have seen enough to know
Where I tread Your goodness follows
My soul is well
My soul is well


For in You my soul is well. Love you Jesus.

ooops!

I can't multi-task as well as I thought... either that or I still haven't used to my electric cooker - bit of both I think. I usually wash up to clear some side space before preparing dinner but I didn't tonight and put the plates on the cooker...and switched the wrong hob on. Was wondering why my potatoes weren't anywhere near boiling when this huge crash happens and the plate explodes and jumps on the floor. Thinking I'd let it cool a bit before picking it up, I did - it's burnt a hole on the lino! Oh dear, damage deposit is getting smaller...

Still Katie and I had a very nice english dinner of lamb chops, mash, swede and carrots. Yum yum! I'm sad she's moving to Bangor on Monday. I love that girl.